My son, Brad’s critical illness left me with a feeling of enormous emptiness, and I didn’t know how to fill it. I had all these feelings inside and I didn’t know how to express myself. That’s when I picked up a journal to put my feelings in a semblance of order, if not normalcy.
But it didn’t start that way. I was angry and I expressed it fully. My journal, which I hoped would soothe me, made me angrier when I would reread it.
Since everything happened, as a result I more than anything, wanted to help others who have been through similar experiences and that’s when the journal came to life.
The moment I heard about Brad’s injury, my world fell apart. Brad is kind, compassionate and has always done for others without a thought about himself. That why what happened to him at the tender age of 37 seemed so unjust.
My emotions roiled. I quit my job and my energy was focused on him alone. That meant that every day he was hospitalized, I was there. I met all kinds of people while I watched over my son. Most of his front line caretakers were remarkable, but if they didn’t live up to my expectations, I let them know it. A new part of me emerged. That’s what I refer to as, “the motion,” and it went on for years.
Now I feel calmer and I know he is safe. It’s time for me to take back my life and enjoy my grandchildren.
When something like that happens, one needs to engage the right medical personnel to guide them and their loved ones through the experience. And everyone needs their most important people in life, be it family or friends, to support their needs.
Don’t be too shy to ask for help. You’d be surprised how many people are happy to assist you and point you in the right direction.
Always keep yourself focused whether you use meditation, exercise or just socialization, even during stressfully tragic times like Covid-19.
Assert yourself and find a hobby. Read books, chat by phone, text or email; whatever it takes for you to stay involved with people and with life.
I’m betting on you.
Marsha Berman 